So you wanna be spiritual

But you don't want to give your money to a church? Yeah, me neither.

Luckily there are several other ways for you to give your money away in a manner that will make you feel good and probably provide you with some kind of intangible benefit that we would call "spiritual."

Note: normally I don't do this sort of thing, but I was inspired to on Thursday but a few different things I saw and by my subsequent thoughts. It doesn't necessarily come "naturally" to me, but it is relatively painless, as I was raised as a church-goer. Speaking of which part of this post really has almost nothing to do with church; the other part intentionally does, in a certain way, but for a specific purpose almost unrelated to the other...

So like I was saying, if you are like me and don't want to give money to the church but do like the idea of giving some of your money to a worthy cause, (you know what's coming next, don't you?), why not give some to help relieve victims of Hurricane Katrina?

Different ways to help:

Donate to the"Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund" via the USA French, I mean, Freedom Corps.


Donate to the The Red Cross.


Offer housing to displaced hurricane victims.


Donate to America's Second Harvest, a national food bank.


Check the credibility of charitable organizations.

Here comes the part that some might think of as churchy. Really it's just an attempt to answer the oft-posited question of "What would Jesus Do?" (For that matter what would Moses, Mohammed, Budda, Gandhi, etc. etc. or Johnny Cash (yes, Johnny Cash, see below) do? )Also, the following biblical citations serve as a marvelous refutation of the disgusting extreme conservatism (in the political sense, i.e. extreme right-wingness for lack of more handy terminology) of certain people in the US who claim a monopoly on religion and Christianity.

An interesting phenomenon: said religious rightists tend to automatically discount the validity of any rhetoric like mine citing the bible on two grounds. One is that they will say that such quotes are taken out of context and thus cannot be properly understood. Of course, this is the same thing they do when they use scripture to condemn homosexuality, abortion, or to justify slavery (as they used to do), or to justify the repression of women (as some still do; thanks for this one go to the apostle known as Paul, formerly known as Saul of Tarsus who persecuted early Christians until his conversion), etc. The second reason is that they say that a non-believer has no authority or right to quote scripture and is by definition ignorant of anything having to do with their religion. First of all, while I would have difficulty calling myself a "Christian" in good conscience, it's not because I don't believe. I don't believe EVERYTHING that your orthodox Christian would usually believe. I do believe in god however. That is, I believe in the concept of a prime mover. I believe there is something out there beyond our comprehension and beyond the physical realm. I guess you could say I'm a Deist. Anyway, returning to this point: that many religious rightists would say that the scriptural citations that follow and any insinuations I am making against their politics are invalid since it is arrogant and erroneous of me to assume that I can properly cite scripture. What utter horeshit. As if they didn't do the same thing (claiming expertise in an area in which they are not experts) when they attempt to use the definition of a "scientific theory" to undermine the teaching of evolution in our nation's public schools. (And in doing so they betray an crucial misunderstanding on their part in this example I might add.) As if they didn't do the same thing when they suggest that experienced judges make poor judgments when said judgments happen to not coincide with their desired outcome. As if they didn't do the same thing when contradicting sworn testimony of medical doctors when said testimony conflicts with their worldview. And we could go on. So, in short, FUCK THEM. To any who still don't understand what I am saying, this is not meant to insult anyone who is religious, only those who are extremely right wing and erroneously use their religion to justify their outrageous political position.

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." -Matthew 19:21 (NIV, all quotes will be from New International Version translation unless otherwise noted)

Yeah, that's a little too radical for me too, but you get the idea. You don't see dudes like Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell lacking for uh... Possessions. Although I'm sure they give to the poor. Seems like they'd be far from this ideal though, not to mention focused on many earthly things that have nothing to do with what their god really wants.

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."
-Matthew 25:31-46

So, I think it's safe to say Bono, for example, is going to heaven, while W., who claims to talk to God, probably better do some serious thinking, because his actions have caused the unjustifiable and untimely death of many of the "least of these" in the form of what the humanoid scum that work for him call "collateral damage."

So What Would Johnny Cash Do?

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.
(Johnny Cash, "The Man in Black")

I think you know what he'd do.

End of sermon.