hoo boy.

Are you an able-bodied Sasquatch aged 10 to 150 who loves his or her country? If so, The Republic of Cascadia needs YOU to enlist in the Sasquatch Militia and defend our homeland against our many enemies, including such nefarious evildoers as:

* Canadians
* Southern Californians
* Geoduck & Tree Octopus Poachers
* Paraterrestrials
* Americans
* International Organized Crime Syndicates
* Nosey Cryptozoologists

Besides serving your country, you will also be improving yourself. Sasquatch Militia will teach you many valuable skills that today's employers are looking for in Sasquatch. You will gain a sense of determination and confidence that will help you succeed. And you will also experience compatriotship with your fellow Sasquatch as you work together to secure the freedom of the Republic of Cascadia.

The Republic of Cascadia needs you now, more than ever, in these trying times. Do your part for your nation and don't let another Sasquatch take your place in the ranks of the Sasquatch Militia. Enlistment stations can be found throughout Cascadia's forests, just look for the poster of Uncle Sas.